Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
