you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize