Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
