I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize