the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
