out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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