i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize