Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
