Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i permit you to call me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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