My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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