Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
