im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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