Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
