we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
