so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
