I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am one with the molecules
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
