he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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