i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
