Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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