i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
