I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize