I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
