Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My ass is underappreciated
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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