This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
