For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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