My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
