do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
