i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
