Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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