First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it glows. i had to have it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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