hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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