I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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