i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
