I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
