I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
