im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
