she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
