Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I've blown a few things in my day
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize