these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
