you guys were way drunker than both of me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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