did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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