You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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