TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
