thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize