I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
