Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
