I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
