I showed him my bush... on skype.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
