Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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