And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
