did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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