They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
