You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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