Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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