what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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