do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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