i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
