One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
