A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I smell like Dick and happiness
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
