Buhtt sex?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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