You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize