would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
