How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize