woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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