I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
