The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
