Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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