Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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